Do I look pretty with MY natural hair?

Okay so since cutting off all my hair and feeling free to let people see my hair, sometimes I wonder if I am equally as beautiful with my wigs/weave or with my natural hair. Yes I know as Ms.India Arie  proudly states in her song with Akon "I am not my hair" sometimes I still wonder. Ever since cutting off all my hair despite the challenge the change was and adapting I have loved it! Looking down at the picture below I do not doubt that I am beautiful in my natural state as I an a narcissistic  individual and am not ashamed of that. But as this is new to me (the reveal as I have not gone as far as the corner shop without my wig) I wonder what people will think. I wonder what especially what men will think? Yes I know shallow....but I am a single woman and these things matter. I know having hair gives me confidence....BIG hair gives me confidence. So if the fast forward 5 years from now and my hair had grown  and was a big bush like Afro I could handle that. So far the people who have seen my hair have all been white people who don't really understand black hair and are simply fascinated by it.....wanting to touch....wanting to understand. I'm sure I'm not the only woman to do her big chop and wonder what people might think. I wonder this espically when people have said "oh you look better with the other hair". I look better with someone else hair on my head, how is that suppose to make me feel about my hair? I know they mean no harm but in a way it still stings a little, especially when your trying to embrace the natural you and everyone else is content in keeping you fake.

You see I remember when my hair was permed and it was in a short cut (as i have always had short hair) and I was seeing this guy and he implied that he liked my hair when it was in weave and longer. Now I did not then change my hair for him....screw him but I wondered if he was implying I looked less beautiful without "long silky hair". Surprising years later when I was dating my ex-boyfriend he met me when I had kinky hair extensions and was dressed up coming from church. A few weeks later when we met up my hair was permed in a shoulder length weave and was wearing sweat pants. He thought I looked prettier than he remembered (as we met in the dark). The first time he saw my natural hair was a few months of us being together when I took the weave out and truth be told I was nervous and curious as to how he would react to my hair. Luck for me he loved it...said I looked good and strangely he wanted to take a pic of me (as he had no pics of me). That was then and a different guy.......what will the next one think.  Something I have noticed is that when my hair is in weave a different type of men are approaching me than when my hair is in hair extensions that look like natural hair "kinky extensions", WHY IS THAT???

CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN THAT TO ME???

So what will the next man think? Should I care? Probably not but most young men are shallow, materialistic and what a certain "type" from head to toe.

So do I look pretty with MY natural hair? Or does it just give me a different look?

Uni Life....Hard Times.

 

#UNIVERSITY...LIFE

Tiny Treasure in Primark

So I went into town (High Wycombe, Chilten Center) to post something yesterday and I decided to wonder around  Primark as I had sometime and  I found a tiny treasure in there. I am a lover of music and when I saw this I just had to get it and the discounted price was jaw dropping, I was catching flies...LOL (as my mother would say). It was £1....no lie. I wasn't gonna get it as I thought it might not fit my wrist as my wrists are not tiny but they fit perfectly.
 So if your a music lover or know someone who is this could make a cute little present , so head down to Primark and grab a bargain!!!

HAIR PRANK...LOL

Okay so for the past week I have changed my wig twice to see if my male flatmate would know the difference between the two or if i was even wearing a wig. Result: He did not notice any difference, he thought it was a weave and I curled  and cut it (when it went from straight to short and curly, i changed the wig).  Honestly how many white guys would have known the difference?

Funny enough I thought he would be shocked but he was more inquisitive and slightly confused. So he walks into my room, sits on my bed and asks how long it took me to get my hair out like that (bless his heart). So i explain that I have been wearing a wig and he slowly still is wonder if my hair naturally puffs out or i did something to it. Eventually he gets it and i can understand how people may find black hair complicated to understand. So he touched my hair and was amazed at the softness, another two flatmates was like its soft like a cloud. So now my "new family" understand my hair, how it works and  the extras (wigs & weaves).

Funny enough when i haven't seen my hair in a few days/week it always seems like it has grown loads....i know hair grows but I'm always amazed. I guess when my hair was growing I was younger so I these things did not really mean anything to me. But when you have chopped of all your hair and are starting from scratch any form of growth is amazing.

side view

top view

back view

me all natural .....no make up....no wig :)

Natural Hair REVEALED to FLATMATES!!!

So I went away for the weekend, back home to see my family and when i was there i took out my hair extensions and just had my natural hair. Everyone who know me well knows that I since my big chop I have yet to be comfortable enough with my hair  to go out into public "natural". So once ready to head back to university I put on my wig (one of them) and headed back.

straight lace wig...

side view of wig.

So the response to my hair was a good one, not that it matted what they thought it was just nice to know as I am not confident with my natural hair. Most were shocked as it made me look so different just like when they saw me with the hair above....they were a little shocked as they had only seen my hair one way. I think that's why i like wigs because i have the ability to change my appearance, the way people see me and that is some what powerful. Funniest moments had to be a guy in my class who asked my flatmate (were on the same course) where I was, and she said I was in the lecture. He then says where and when she points me out he does a double take and says oh okay as he did not recognize me at all. I don't think I look that different.....do I? Honestly I did feel nervous when i walked into my lecture and people stared at me and i was so self conscious where as I wasn't before. Yes I know i look different but you don't have to stare at me....just saying.
         
             Second one had to be my flatmate (who is a guy) who thought my hair was the same hair as before just taken out of plaits.....seriously? Okay he's so funny but honestly he is a young whit guy who doesn't have many black friends (or people living in his area), or lived with a black woman, so I do not expect him to know anything or much about the ins and outs of black women and their hair.
Currently wearing a wig and I have two more (curly ones) so imma change them daily and see if he knows the difference :) LOL....I know I'm so bad but hes response is just so funny. I can just imagine his face when he sees my natural hair.......:)

hair out before I put the wig on....

Tattoos???

trebel clef music note on left ankle

 

butterfly with the word "Free"

I am a lover of music and have a passion for it.















This tattoo is a butterfly with the word "Free" underneath symbolizing that i am free from all pain and anything else I feel. The symbol in the word will give me strength in a tough and trying time.

Changing around my uni room :)

Are you even allowed to do that? Oh well who cares I already did it!
So at home I am usually changing around my room every couple of months and so I decided as the bed and other things were not bolted down I was going to shake things up a little. So below is how the room was when I arrived, minus all my lovely accessories.

original room

Now once I had changed around the room I noticed that It gave the room more floor space and was easier to move around in. After changing it I definitely sure I will leave it like this as I personally prefer it this way, look wise and for space. I like that if I want to practice some salsa moves there is enough space as before I would have hurt myself due to the lack of space. Added bonus is that now all my shoes fit in one straight line and I'm not accidentally stepping on them :) yay :)
Before it was very hard for me to watch my TV when I wanted to and funny enough since being here I don't use the tv so much but I like the option of it being here so I can watch it when I want to. Now with my head near the wall I can sit back, relax and watch movies when I want to in COMFORT.

re-arranged room